#SexualAbuse #Excerpt from The Invisible Sorority by Ty Johnson-Anderson @invisible_soror

I stand here for all survivors of sexual assault to make our struggle evident. I am starting a movement—the “I Am Not Invisible” movement. Why? Because it’s needed. Some estimates state that as many as one in four women will be raped or sexually assaulted sometime during their lives. That makes them members of our not-so-exclusive sorority.

We walk among society faceless, mainly because of our own shame. We fake our bright smiles-behind them are our lifeless eyes. We are lost in the crowd. But not for long. It’s our time-our time to step out of the shadows, and finally make the world take notice of this horrid epidemic.

I too am a survivor. Notice I didn’t say “victim.” I was violated by a boyfriend, although initially I didn’t categorize what had happened to me that way. More on that later.

As in all healthy relationships, we had sex-lots of consensual, teenage, lust-filled sex. But we also had a lot of non-consensual sex. While we were living together, I would often wake up to him having sex with me.

In my heart of hearts, I knew this FELT wrong. But I had never been in any other sexual relationship, so I had no reference- no handbook to tell me what was healthy. As with many parents, my mother never shared her sexual exploits with me or talk to me about my role in a sexual relationship, albeit not her fault, but a societal fault. So, being a naïve teenager, I thought maybe this was normal, this is what girlfriends do.

My thoughts as it was happening were; if you had sex with a person once, you had to continue to give it to them, right? I mean, we were in a relationship. So I shut up and I took it. For a year, I took it! In that year, I lost count of how many times I “engaged” in nonconsensual sex-nights with him rolling off me and me rolling over and crying myself to sleep.

Like many survivors, I suffered in silence. I was jaded . . . conflicted. On one hand, I had a boyfriend who took me out, opened doors, showered me with the kind of affection you’d expect from a lover. On the other hand, I had a secret, a deep, dark secret.

It couldn’t be rape. That’s what I kept thinking. In fact, at that time, I wore a smile every day. The only time I cried was when he was on top of me. But . . . it couldn’t be rape. I didn’t say “no.” You have to do that, right? I didn’t fight him off. You should do that too, right? I thought these things were the truth.

As children we are taught by our parents and the media that rape is something that a stranger does to you in a dark alley. I kept a wary eye out for “those” guys, but my antenna was not tuned to the rapist in my bed. My guy, who by day was a dream, became “that guy,” at night. He wasn’t violent, maybe because I didn’t resist his advances or fight back. So again, it couldn’t be rape, could it?

Let me tell you that any sex that is engaged in without consent is rape. Your lack of fighting back is not giving your consent. Your failure to scream, “No, please don’t do this!” is not giving your consent.

…

I must have a guardian angel because although they weren’t the best people for me to be in a relationship with, they weren’t pure evil either.

…

I still have trust issues. I still have intimacy issues. I still have communication issues. My journey is still not over. And I’m sure your journey, whether you’re at the beginning or in the midst of it, is ongoing.

Ty Johnson-Anderson is the creator of The Invisible Sorority, a community of intimate partner sexual assault victims ushering one another into healing and thriving post-assault. Ty launched the movement, I Am Not Invisible, in an effort to humanize the victimless statistics. Once a young adult spiraling out of control, she has managed to emotionally liberate herself from her dark past and move forward to manifest her future. She lives in Edgewood, Maryland with her wonderful husband and beautiful little girl. Visit her at www.theinvisiblesorority.com

The Invisible Sorority will show you:

Why forgiveness can be your best healing tool

Several techniques you can use to heal your heart through mastering your mind via hypnosis and guided meditations

How to increase your ability to manifest your ideal future

How to embrace your tears to strenthen your emotional stability

Improve your sex life using several intimacy exercises designed to show you to live in the NOW

The invisible sorority is like a phone conversation with your best friend. It will inspire you to make positive changes in your life while helping you to ease the pain of your past assault.

Buy Now @ Amazon

Genre – Non-Fiction, Self Help-Abuse

Rating – PG-13

More details about the author

Connect with Ty Johnson-Anderson on Facebook & Twitter

Getting to Know Deidre Havrelock #Author of Living the #Testimony @deidrehavrelock

If you could travel in a Time Machine would you go back to the past or into the future?

The future, definitely. I really would like to fly in a spaceship. I once dreamed I had a pink flying car (just like in the Jetsons). It had a white leather interior, high-gloss exterior. It was fabulous! In this futuristic world everything was powered from the energy of positive electrons gathered from flowing water. (I’m not sure if this would actually work…I’m a dreamer not a physicist!)

If you could invite any 5 people to dinner who would you choose?

My dad, my friend Becky, my friend Courtney, my friend Joan…and the Holy Spirit. We would eat naan bread and spinach paneer. 

If you were stranded on a desert island what 3 things would you want with you?

Oh, my gosh I hope I don’t ever get stranded, but if I did I am sure glad I packed my fuzzy white blanket, my lazy cat named Damian Mc Ginty (I won’t pick my kids because they don’t want to be stranded on a desert island, and I won’t pick my husband because he has to watch the kids), and enough Tim Horton’s (this is a popular and highly addictive Canadian coffee) to last five years (did I mention that I’m Canadian?)…can I also bring a pen so I can write a book? Ok, I’ll give up the lazy cat in order to bring the pen. (Better add some paper to that order, eh!) 

What is one book everyone should read?

Since I’m a fan of good Christian theology, but I also enjoy story…I think I’ll pick The Shack by Wm. Paul Young. Of course, everyone has already read this book, but if you’re one of the few people who haven’t then you should. The book is just packed full of interesting tid-bits—you never know what you’re going to get out of it.

Another favorite of mine is Scivias by St. Hildegard…it’s a book of visions; but for top memoir pick, I choose The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls. This book is sad, but it makes you laugh because her family is super crazy. For a good exorcism book, I pick Hostage to the Devil by Malachi Martin. You think my story is weird, wait ’til you read the personal accounts in this book!

If you were a superhero what would your name be?

I’d be Super Sensitive. I’m a naturally spiritually sensitive chick.

If you could have any superpower what would you choose?

Those dreams where you can fly, those are the best. So I pick flying. I don’t want to be stretchy—that’s too weird. And I don’t want to be anything where I’m naked, like the invisible woman. I don’t like being cold.

What is your favorite flavor of ice cream?

Vanilla…but I read somewhere that only really complicated people choose vanilla!

If you could meet one person who has died who would you choose?

First I’d like to spend some time with Jesus and learn as much as I could about whatever he wanted to talk about. But I’d also really like to meet Joan of Arc. That would be cool. We’d hang out in my back yard and sip iced coffee and tell God-stories where crazy stuff happens. I think we’d get along. Yeah, we’d be best friends.

What is your favorite thing to eat for breakfast?

Coffee.

What would you say is your interesting writing quirk?

My quirk is that I write in bed. I sometimes get my laptop and stay in bed for hours! My husband calls it “my office.” 

Night owl, or early bird?

I’m neither. I like to wake up early to pray—but it’s always a struggle. I like to stay up late—but I always fall asleep. I guess I like to sleep. That sounds pathetic.

One food you would never eat?

I really like food. All kinds of food, but if someone said, “Hey, try this dish of spiders!” I definitely would pass. The idea of eating spiders creeps me out. I imagine little bristly legs getting stuck in my teeth or else wiggly bodies scurrying down my throat. How much flavor or protein could there be in a spider, anyway? My favorite food, by the way, is crab!

Please tell us in one sentence only, why we should read your book.

You should read Living…The Testimony because it will absolutely strengthen your faith in Jesus. You should read Saving Mary: The Possession because there are things that go on, strange supernatural things, that for your own safety—or the safety of your children—you should know about.

We testify in accordance with what we know and have experienced.

…It’s time to learn and experience more!

The first book in this thought-provoking series explained how testimony relates to the Bible; this book will help you understand how testimony relates to living. Living…The Testimony will not only encourage Christians to reflect on who they believe Jesus to be (and why they choose to believe this), but it will also correct current misconstrued ideas as to what the Christian testimony is all about.

- a testimony is not about church;

- a testimony is not about God;

- a testimony is not about faith in general terms;

- this book contains numerous testimonies that will strengthen your faith in Jesus.

A strong Christian testimony is one that continually grows in the knowledge of Jesus, continually shares that knowledge boldly, while at the same time performs good works based on Jesus’ teaching of love—all while abstaining from works of darkness.

Because a biblical testimony deals not only with our belief system, but also with the way we conduct our whole lives, our Christian testimony becomes our most valuable asset. It is life itself.

Buy Now @ Amazon

Genre – Christian Living

Rating – G

More details about the author

Connect with Deidre Havrelock on Twitter

Website www.deidrehavrelock.com

This book will be on sale for $0.99 during the tour